She parked there constantly and called the space shared, and when I finally had her SUV towed last week she stood on her porch and told me I would regret it. At five past three I woke to a metallic clang and saw her crossing my lawn in the dark. An empty bucket beside my car, and my white SUV running with red paint. No camera on that side of the house, no witnesses, nothing to prove any of it.

By quarter to seven there were three police cars outside her house and two officers in her garage while she stood barefoot on the grass insisting she had done nothing. One came over and asked whether the damaged vehicle was mine and then told me not to wash it.