I took my bedroom back in March. I painted it the color your grandmother’s kitchen was, which is not a color anyone under fifty would choose, and I sat in it for a long time.
Corinne called in June. Not for money. She asked what my husband’s mother used to put in the ham, and we talked for forty minutes about brine. She came for Sunday dinner in August. She has come most Sundays since, and she has never once asked for anything, and I have never once offered.
We are careful with each other now, the way you are careful with something you dropped and glued back together yourself.
I spent eleven years believing that if I stayed quiet and useful, I would be kept. What I learned in that small room down the hall is that people do not treasure what costs them nothing. I had to close one door before anyone in this house could see me standing behind it, and I have not regretted a single one of those forty-five days.
